I HATE WINTER

It's the most depressing time of the year.

I miss him so much. I didn't think i would feel the way im feeling about somebody again but i am and it fucking sucks. Every song suddenly has meaning, I can't turn on the radio or even walk into a shop without hearing Kelly Clarkson. I can't help but listen to whatever you like on repeat when im listening to cd's in my car. Everymorning i wake up and check my phone, just incase... But nothing. And everytime i'm on the computer guess who's facebook i check. I can't even just lay in bed because then all i can think about is how much i want him to be laying there with me. I haven't had a good nights sleep (apart from saturday night when i passed out from being overly intoxicated) in 2 weeks. Last night i stayed back at work for 3 HOURS just because i didn't want to drive home alone, go to bed alone and then wake up alone.

We get so close and it feels so good - to him too. And then he gets scared or something and cuts all contact off again.

I got myself into this mess. This is all my fault. But i can't help but feel this way.
I don't want to let go.